Summer is Here

Memorial Day

Surprise!

I had a little more up my sleeve for my husband's 30th birthday than just a dinner with family. Several weeks in advance I emailed all of our immediate family and asked if we could find a day that we could get together to celebrate without him knowing. Everyone jumped on board right away and the plans were made. I smiled when Stephen's dad called to let him know that he and his wife were planning to come visit us from Pittsburgh for Memorial Day weekend. I nodded, "oh, that will be nice." I also smiled every time family members said "we don't have your gift yet" on the actual birthday weekend. My husband, humble as he is, really believed that being taken out to dinner and a few cards was all he was getting for the big 3-0.

Stephen's dad decided on Saturday afternoon that Benjamin absolutely MUST have a new toy. Stephen came in the house to tell me and I agreed that he really didn't need any toys, but if he's insisting...All the rest of the family showed up to the house while they were out. There was a look of complete shock on Stephen's face when he walked in to see both of our families all gathered in the living room to celebrate with him. This was not an easy feat.

Stephen received some very generous gifts from everyone involved and it was nice to see him receiving a few items not related to parenting. The party certainly wouldn't have been the same without Benjamin though. Benjamin's favorite party activities were playing with balloons and helping daddy open gifts (and of course, mom's chocolate cake!!). He now enjoys wandering around the living room with the balloons and pulling them down from the ceiling.

More came out of this than just a party for Stephen. The past couple weeks have been rough on my health with illnesses and now sporadic fevers accompanied by dizziness and exhaustion. I was saddened that I knew I could only handle family for this event and I even began to question if I could handle that. In the end, I only made the cake. Everything else arrived in the hands of family members. I even had help with cleaning up. It is somewhat encouraging to know that I certainly couldn't have done this on my own, but everyone knew that and they stepped in to help.

Two Big Birthdays Warrant the Sailor Suit

This past week, Stephen's grandfather reached the honorable age of 75 years old. Today, Stephen reached the milestone age of 30. After some juggling of schedules, we were able to go out on Saturday evening with Stephen's mom's side of the family to celebrate both occasions. I was admittedly nervous at the thought of taking my rambunctious toddler to a fancy restaurant. His new favorite thing to do at mealtime is throw food on the floor. I was imagining becoming known as "one of those parents" who lets their child wreck anything in his path. Or with beads of sweat running down my face as I pick up after him while everyone stares at me.

In the end, Benjamin did very well and flirted with all of the waitresses. We had a good time playing peek-a-boo with the tablecloth and he thoroughly enjoyed reading the dessert menu and playing with the spoons. Maybe I would be better off not worrying quite so much?

Since Benjamin's great-grandfather is the source of his middle name, I thought it appropriate to snap a photo of the two men, approximately 73 years and 8 months apart in age. Plus Benjamin was just too adorable in his little sailor suit.

Graduations Galore

This past weekend we had the pleasure of celebrating two momentous occasions. On Saturday, my brother graduated from Widener University with his B.S. in management and my good friend Karen graduated from Villanova with her Master's in Civil Engineering.

For once my family managed to be on time in departing for the morning's main event (my brother's graduation), only to be stopped at a police traffic stop on the way to the ceremony. We were a little confused as to the purpose of a traffic stop at 8:45 on Saturday morning, but we soon learned they were checking seatbelts and making sure there were no drunk drivers. We even got a lovely printout of what a cop looks like when he pulls over a drunk driver. Really? Saturday at 8:45 am? My dad informed them that the line of cars they were holding up likely had a once-in-a-lifetime event they were trying to make. I don't think the cop cared. We did make it in plenty of time and upon arriving to campus we got a quick peek of the fabulous home my brother had been inhabiting. At that moment I questioned my desire for Benjamin to go to college.

After finding seats, my dad and I took a brief walk to find the restrooms and asked each other if we ever thought this day would come. My parents were pretty sure it would for my sister and I. Despite my brother's intelligence, he has a knack for unfortunate situations. We thought back to his early days when we frantically searched for him one afternoon, only to have him returned by two strangers after he attempted to turn his Big Wheel onto the onramp for Third Line (a highway outside Toronto). Then there was the incident of the car transplanting the tree. After that, there was the car vs. head incident (pictures of the aftermath available on his facebook page). Needless to say, we are amazed and very proud of his scholastic accomplishments.

The ceremony itself went fairly quickly, though it had a slightly odd tone throughout most of the speeches. I'm not sure I have ever been encouraged so many times to forget about material successes. Towards the end I wondered how my SPF 100 sunscreen was holding up. I have my answer in that I still have tinges of pink in my face today.

Later in the evening, we attended a graduation party for Karen at her parents home. I am completely amazed at her level of engineering intelligence and I think back on our college days in calculus-based physics. The professor kept saying how fun it was. Karen actually believed him. Karen has been a truly reliable friend since I met her our freshman year at PennState. So much so that we lived together our senior year. She was then a bridesmaid in our wedding and was at the hospital shortly after Benjamin's birth to meet "mini-man." She was his first non-family babysitter. I couldn't help but remember the days of our Crystal Light mixtures and Karen calling me one day to say she was trying to make chicken and there was oil splashing all over the wall in our kitchen. I will say again that I am completely amazed at how so much brain power can fit into such a fun person.

I don't know if Stephen or I will ever get it together to go back to school, but for now we will celebrate the accomplishments of others and hope that in approximately 20-21 years, we will be attending the college graduation ceremony of our son (if he survives our parenting for that long).

World Lupus Day May 10

In honor of the day, here is a list of 10 facts you probably don't know about systemic lupus:

1. Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body. Lupus most commonly affects the skin, musculoskeletal system, kidneys, and cardiovascular system.

2. The average new patient is a non-Caucasian woman in her childbearing years.

3. There has not been a new drug approved for lupus in over 50 years. The most commonly used medications are NSAIDs, steroids, anti-malarial drugs, and in very severe cases, chemo.

4. The average lupus patient waits around 3.5 years for a correct diagnosis.

5. Lupus is the Latin word for wolf and became the name of the disease with the observance of the similarities between a wolf's facial markings and the facial rash many lupus patients experience.

6. There are numerous pregnancy risk factors for lupus patients: miscarriage, preterm delivery, and preeclampsia. Every lupus pregnancy is considered high-risk. There is also a risk of the baby developing heart complications or neonatal lupus.

7. The cause of lupus is unknown. It is believed there is a genetic predisposition along with environmental triggers.

8. An estimated 16,000 new cases of lupus are reported each year.

9. The most common causes of death in lupus patients are kidney failure, infection, and heart disease.

10. Lupus patients are often very sun-sensitive and can get non-sunburn rashes or even flares after exposure.

A Note on Suffering

It's unlikely that most people need help seeing the positive aspects of their lives at the beginning of a difficult situation. Just because a situation is difficult doesn't mean I have forgotten all that I have been blessed with and that I have become completely ungrateful for everything in my life. There will always be something better or worse than my struggles. I am perhaps even more aware of the blessed life that I lead now-I have my diagnosis and I have access to medical care. I have not yet determined the absolute point in suffering, but I do know that suffering causes me to better see God's sovereignty. I can get really overcome with the "nobody understands" bit, but realizing that statement is only true on the human level makes all the difference. I know that if someone wasn't in control of this stuff, it would be nearly impossible to see any point to it. That knowledge is certainly something I have been blessed with. And something I have watched numerous other people be blessed with. There is a small part of me seeing that maybe this is where I will be able to use this illness for a better purpose. I am pressing towards figuring out the "rejoicing in suffering" business, but for now I can dwell on knowing that it has a purpose.